Many of us women in today’s goal-focused-world are so stuck in our heads that we are disconnected from our sensuality and sexuality. Our masculine dominant lifestyles have taken us out of alignment with what is both necessary and nourishing to our femininity. Because of this lack of connection to our vagina’s, many of us are so resistant to the flow of erotic energy that we struggle to feel anything during sex. But don’t worry – with mindful awareness and consistent practice, you can change all of that.
” The mind can be a pleasure block…”
Both men and women posses both female and male energies within themselves – neither of these two energies is stronger or weaker. They exist to complement the other. Nowadays, with the rise of the strong feminine competing with the masculine, many of us have found it harder to let go and surrender to the feminine flow. As a result, the mind can become a pleasure block, keeping the body from opening to sexual ecstasy and bliss. Many women experience this. It is more difficult to surrender to vulnerability than it is to focus on work for example. You may be an entrepreneur, like myself. Once you start taking bigger risks for your company, the more the mind is activated and the more your intimate desires will be neglected. In Tantric teachings, the mind is considered the masculine – fire. The womb (our sex centre, and the place of our erotic yearning) is the feminine – water. If the feminine is imbalanced by too much chi in the head, our water dries up, and we lose connection to our desires. This truly resonated for me and helped me become aware of my feminine needs for nourishment, and create balance between my masculine/feminine energies.
Like the mouth and it’s connection to the hips and vagina, the cervix is connected to the voice box – similar both look and tissue. Practice making sounds and bringing them down into your vagina. With time, you will find that certain tones vibrate (and activate) your sex center…
8 Sensual ways to become more orgasmic:
Breath is one of the most important keys to connected sex. Breathe into your vagina – your sacred sex centre – nourishing it with life. Just like in yoga, when we breathe into an area that needs opening, it expands!
2. Relax your jaw, mouth and throat
The jaw, mouth, and throat are directly linked to the hips and vagina. (Notice that when you are shutting down, they are all usually tight). Soften and relax your jaw, mouth and throat. Open up, and your vagina will too!!
3. Make sound
Like the mouth and it’s connection to the hips and vagina, the cervix is connected to the voice box – similar both look and tissue. Practice making sounds and bringing them down into your vagina. With time, you will find that certain tones vibrate (and activate) your sex center.
Energy cannot move in a stiff body – the body needs to move to open. Moving your hips is a great way to bring yourself into your body. To do this, lay down and arch your back enough to put a hand under, then flatten it on the floor, tilting your hips back and fourth, breathing in synch with each movement.
Your imagination can be a powerful tool to clear your mind and connect with your body. Picture whatever is stopping you from being present, then imagine it being released with your breath. As you inhale again, imagine you are breathing in clear white light. Once your mind is clear, visualize your breath as a golden light moving down your spine, filling your womb with pure consciousness.
6. Do your kegels
A strong pelvic floor (PC muscle) not only helps with incontinence and childbirth – it also increases vaginal sensitivity! So do your kegels to bring more awareness, strength, and blood flow to your sex. You can also purchase a jade egg or silicon balls that act as weights inside your yoni.
7. Touch yourself
Touch your private parts – and your body – with loving hands. Feel into every caress, exploring each part with varying pressure. Don’t aim to have an orgasm – simply connecting and being present with your yoni can be enough (and if you do have an orgasm, even better!).
Put on some sexy music and dance, combining all the techniques above. Dancing is one of the most feminine, embodied practices a woman can do, so dance – for yourself!