Last year I chose to be in conscious celibacy for 6 months. My intention was to align the voice of my heart and the voice of my sexuality – for them to speak the same language. Probably everyone of us has experienced that these two power centres can have very different needs and desires.
During this period I was doing tantric practices almost on a daily basis. I fuelled myself with this very powerful energy.
I became ultra-magnetic to men. This energy can be so tempting, so seductive. And yet, I stayed committed to my choice of conscious celibacy. Until the moment arrived in which I felt the right alignment.
The reason I’m writing this, is not to prove something about conscious celibacy, but rather when you need to pay attention that you’re slipping into control. This practice of alignment can be very empowering, but you have to be clear when to step out and loosen up.
There is such a fine balance between doing something in the name of healing, or doing it to be in control.
A few months ago this insight spouted inside me. It demanded me to drop everything around my intentions for love. Drop the quest, the practices, drop the need for doing anything, and instead to open up to receive. Receive with the wisdom of a woman, and the innocence of a child. Light, excited, in full trust of what the Universe has to bring.