HI, I’M NALAYA
AN INTIMACY COACH + LOVER OF LIFE
I have always been intrigued by the power of love, as well as its fragility. I am fascinated by the fear of love, and all the stories we create for ourselves that prevent us from getting exactly what we desire the most: TRUE CONNECTION.
My life has been one wild adventure after the other. I went from being a promiscuous nymphomaniac, to being a silent celibate with a shaved head living in isolation.
The many different shades of love have made me the person I am today: happier than I’ve ever been, sharing this path with my fiancé, my best friend and love of my life.
With absolute passion, I guide men and women into deeper intimacy by being the living example of what I teach.
I BELIEVE YOU MUST REVEAL YOUR WHOLE SELF FEARLESSLY + COURAGEOUSLY. WHEN YOU DARE TO LOVE, EVERYTHING ELSE IN LIFE WILL JUST FALL INTO PLACE.
ONCE UPON A TIME…
I WAS 19 + DEPRESSED + ADDICTED TO SEX
My whole life has been multicultural. I was raised in various continents; found home in languages, people and places. And then all of a sudden, I was expected to fit in with the crowd. The crowd of my birth-land Holland. It was so confronting to be perceived as someone I wasn’t, just because of my heritage.
I tried to adjust, I tried to fit it, but the pretence just disconnected me more and more. Until finally I fell into a deep depression. I cried for hours every day, and put on a fake smile just to please my friends and family. Sex was my sanctuary. Sex was the place in which I was in control. Through sex I got to express my power and forget about life for a moment.
Essentially I longed to feel something beyond this extreme pain. The sensory overload of sex would take the symptoms away for a while, but would never fulfil the deeper longing for true connection and understanding.
I WENT TO INDIA + SHAVED MY HEAD
Once I graduated from University, I got myself an one-way ticket to India. Not knowing this would be my home for the coming 5 years. All I knew was that I needed a drastic change, and that India was the answer.
I shaved my head at the holy river Ganga. I went to ashrams and silent meditation centres. I lived in huts without electricity and walked barefoot most of the time. I’m sure this all sounds amazing, yet the reality was quite the contrary.
My body screamed for healing. I had terrible insomnia, anxiety, hyper-sensitivity, skin breakouts and my hormones were all over the place. In other words: all the ingredients one needs to fall into depression over and over again.
As if things couldn’t get any worse, I fell in love with a manipulative narcissist. Intense, aggressive and destructive. That was the essence of this relationship. Yet I was in denial.
THE DENIAL THAT ALMOST KILLED ME
I denied how broken I was after that relationship. I denied the state of my body, and how disconnected I was. I denied that I was running away from myself, my feelings and from everyone around me.
My wake-up call came when I ended up in the isolation department of the hospital. A highly contagious and deadly bacteria had filled my blood and decided to nest in my left breast. Right above my heart.
There I was, confronted by all my shadows, unable to run anymore. Doctors came in everyday looking as though they were on the Moon. Dressed up in the highest protection gear, stuffing me all kinds of with drugs just to keep me alive.
This is the moment that changed everything. I understood the innate power within me, after overcoming all this. I decided to take charge over my life and do things differently from now on…
I BELIEVE THAT YOUR PAST LOVERS + BELOVEDS ARE YOUR GREATEST MASTERS. AND THAT YOUR WILLINGNESS TO LOVE IS THE SECRET ARROW THAT LEADS THE WAY.
FROM FEAR TO DESIRE
My greatest fear + my greatest desire had been one and the same all along. To intimately connect + to feel understood + to have a deep sense of belonging.
The only way out was through. Through my fear, through my sensitivity, through the walls of protection I had carefully constructed around myself. I decided I needed to be the example of what I wish to see in all my relationships. To be the one to break the ice, to confront, to love and expose myself. To be the one absolutely willing to journey into unknown places with another.
Here’s what changed over the next few years..
❖ I consciously chose to be celibate for a year
❖ I went deep into my sexual healing + alignment
❖ I did diverse healing trainings + learnt to live with my sensitivity
❖ I found balance through spiritual practice + ritual + nutrition
❖ I opened my voice + began to sing + found my true power
❖ I met masters + received various tantric initiations
❖ I naturally attracted clients + hosted my first retreats
❖ I found my community + a true sense of home from within
JOIN MY ONLINE COMMUNITY OF LOVERS OF LIFE
HERE IS WHAT YOU’LL GET 100% FOR FREE
SHAMANISM + SACRED SEXUALITY
Being a highly sensitive + highly sexual person is not the easiest combination. Yet it got me to be where I am today. Guiding others into freedom + connection, by activating exactly these powerful qualities within you.
I came to the Sacred Valley of Peru at the end of 2015. Like any of the other major choices I’ve made in my life – this too was a blind calling from the heart.
❖ Peru taught me about embodiment + the four elements
❖ Peru showed me how to bridge the spiritual with the tangible
❖ Here I integrated Shamanic principles into daily life
❖ And wove this wisdom into the tantric teachings + practices
❖ I have worked with medicine men + women from diverse traditions
❖ And participated in countless ceremonies
❖ I have climbed holy mountains + prayed at sacred sights
❖ I found the secrets of the Sacred Valley
❖ And share these in my annual retreats
❖ I befriended the local wisdom-keepers
❖ I have established a prominent position as a healer
❖ I created a unique + solid foundation for my work
❖ I witnessed greater transformation in my clients than ever before
Essentially, Peru offered me a Home unlike any other I’ve known before. This is the very special place will forever hold a special place in my heart. However, after 5 years, I received another calling from the heart. This time, it was the love of my life knocking on my door…
DURING WORLD LOCKDOWN I TOOK A LEAP OF FAITH AND FLEW ACROSS THE EARTH TO BE WITH THE LOVE OF MY LIFE
EPIC LOVE STORY
As someone who has literally built her business around love, of course I needed not just any kind of love-story of my own. No, this one needed to be EPIC in every sense of the word. And so it is.
Ruwan and I met in Peru in early 2017. Although the encounter was brief, we both felt intrigued and stayed in contact. As we are both coaches, most of our communication remained professional over the years.
Until the moment that Ruwan invited me onto his podcast (click here to listen to that episode). The chemistry was so tangible that I suggested we would exchange coaching sessions afterwards. I was simply intrigued to get to know him better.
WE WENT REALLY DEEP IMMEDIATELY
Unexpectedly those sessions were really revealing for the both of us. Together we moved through darkness and difficulty – as if we were supporting each other to prepare the ground for our relationship.
Only after a few weeks of exchanging sessions did Ruwan break the ice to reveal he had always been attracted to me.
RISKING IT ALL TO BE WITH THE LOVE OF MY LIFE
The trust I felt was so different than anything I’ve ever felt before. It was a sincere grounded knowing that this is my life partner. The connection was just so natural and real. Neither of us were interested in just rainbows and sunshine. We wanted it all – the painful, the beautiful, the dark, the light.
What most people saw as a major sacrifice and risk – to me seemed the most obvious move to make. I left behind my house, my community, my everything – to travel across the world to a place I know nothing and nobody, to unite with Ruwan and build a life together. And all this in the middle of the pandemic – it took me 2 months to get from Peru, to Holland, to Thailand. But I made it.
Now we are engaged, happily living in our home in Chiang Mai in North Thailand. This love is such an amazing example of what it means to tap into the true power of polarity – how well we compliment each other!
If you want to hear more about our unfolding love-story, I suggest you subscribe to my podcast MAKE LOVE TO LIFE, or follow me on INSTAGRAM.
STOP REPEATING THE SAME LOVE-STORY. ATTRACT EXACTLY WHAT YOU DESIRE MOST. AND BECOME THE PERSON YOU WANNA FALL IN LOVE WITH…
WHAT OTHERS SAY ABOUT NALAYA
Nalaya is the perfect person to host retreats! She creates a space in which you feel at ease and ready to open up. Her ceremonies are so beautiful – as is her voice and drumming. At times it was challenging for me, yet always for my greater good and transformation.
In one word I can say this retreat was EXCEPTIONAL! Our group, the astonishing location next to the river, the full-moon bonfires, the quality yoga classes, the amazingly delicious vegan food. Wow! If you consider working with Nalaya, go for it!!Read more..
Just wanted to send a big THANK YOU! It’s been a year since the retreat, and I can see clearly how big of an impact it has been. It really allowed me to end one cycle, and open space for the new. The transformation is so tangible!
I touched places inside myself I didn’t even know existed. It has empowered me as a woman, allowed me to see what I am capable of, and on top of that – I now enjoy life more fully!
I still am wearing the bracelet I received at the retreat. I often look at is to remember the gratitude I have for you and the opportunity you gave me with the work we did together. Read more..
I felt comfortable and at ease with Nalaya. I would recommend this retreat to anyone who is looking to release and let go of any darkness they are holding onto. The exercises and workshops are thought provoking and deeply healing.