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MY INTERVIEW WITH #BEYOUROWN MAGAZINE:
Nalaya Chakana is an intimacy coach, intuitive healer and retreat facilitator. She was born in The Netherlands, raised in several continents, travelled the world for over a decade, and is now residing in the Sacred Valley of Peru. She has trained in India with various masters from the Siddha lineage and received initiations into Shaktipat, Kundalini and other Tantric Traditions.
Her healing sessions, therapy and intuitive channelling are based on a variety of intensive healing training she did in Asia, India, as well as Europe. Later, she worked with shamans in Peru, Ecuador and Colombia. All from various tribal traditions.
Nalaya has worked with hundreds of clients from all over the world. She implements a unique mixture of tantric techniques based on shamanic principles. The power of her work can be experienced in personalised 1:1 session (also online) and the intimate retreats she organises twice a year in her home – the Sacred Valley. Where she fuses her passion and knowledge with the native tradition of Peru.
Welcome Nalaya, thank you for taking the time to share your story with us, can you introduce yourself to us?
I am an intimacy coach, intuitive healer and retreat facilitator. I am obsessed with romance and ritual and have developed a unique combination of tantric techniques based on shamanic principles. My fascination for intimacy and the true connection got awakened from a very young age due to my international upbringing and my interest in human behaviour.
I was born in The Netherlands, raised in various countries and later travelled the world solo for over a decade. Of which I spent 5 years living nomadically in India and surrounding countries, and later travelled through South America.
My life has been one wild adventure after the other. I studied under many renown healers and shamans. Yet I consider my lovers and beloveds to have been my greatest masters. I believe that the true willingness to love is the secret arrow that leads the way to true transformation. The many different shades of love have made me the person I am today: at home in the Sacred Valley of Peru, guiding men and women into deeper intimacy.
Can you give us a little back story on how you got to be an intimacy coach?
I believe that the true embodiment of hard experiences in life is what allows one to become a master at what they teach. I needed to go through confusion, depression, disconnection and sickness to be where I am now.
At the age of 19, I lost my sense of self. We had moved back to The Netherlands, which brought me a lot of confusion about my identity and where I belonged. I tried to adjust, I tried to fit it, but the pretence just disconnected me more and more. Until finally I fell into a deep depression. I would cry for hours every day, and put on a fake smile just to please my friends and family.
Sex was my sanctuary. Sex was the place in which I was in control. Through sex, I got to express my power and forget about life for a moment. Essentially I longed to feel something beyond this extreme pain. The sensory overload of sex would take the symptoms away for a while, but would never fulfil the deeper longing for true connection and understanding.
That was the beginning of my path of purpose. This is what pushed me into exploring the relationship and sexuality more consciously. This is the breaking point that guided me to move to India and understand more deeply how to return to “connection” using spiritual and tantric practices.
One hard lesson in life you have learned so far?
One of the hardest lessons in my life almost killed me. This lesson taught me everything about the power of denial and how dangerous it is to run away from my greatest fears.
India pulled me inside out and upside down. Those first years were very intense. I shaved my head at the holy river Ganga. I went to ashrams and silent meditation centres. I lived in huts without electricity and walked barefoot most of the time. I’m sure this all sounds amazing, yet the reality was quite the contrary. My body screamed for healing. I had terrible insomnia, anxiety, hypersensitivity, skin breakouts and my hormones were all over the place. In other words: all the ingredients one needs to fall into depression over and over again.
As if things couldn’t get any worse, I fell in love with a manipulative narcissist. Intense, aggressive and destructive. That was the essence of this relationship. Yet I was in denial. I denied how broken I was after that relationship. I denied the state of my body, and how disconnected I was. I denied that I was running away from myself, my feelings and from everyone around me.
My wake-up call came when I ended up in the isolation department of the hospital. A highly contagious and deadly bacteria had filled my blood and decided to nest in my left breast. Right above my heart. There I was, confronted by all my shadows, unable to run anymore. Doctors came in every day looking as though they were on the Moon. Dressed up in the highest protection gear, stuffing me all kinds of with drugs just to keep me alive.
This is the moment that changed everything. I understood the innate power within me, after overcoming all this. I decided to take charge of my life and do things differently from now on.
Can you talk us through your holistic approach towards intimacy?
The way I implement shamanic principles into my holistic approach towards intimacy is by looking at your Earth, Air, Fire and Water. This is what the entire world consists of. It is what keeps nature in balance. And thus, also you and your intimate experience of life.
You cannot expect a perfect partner to fall from the sky when you’re having troubles fully accepting your parents and the family you chose to be born in. ALL your relationships in life are part of your intimate life. Your friends, your colleagues, the familiar strangers in the market. And it all starts with how you relate to YOU.
Here’s a basic example:
You feel unhappy about your body (Earth), and often get overwhelmed by all that you feel (Water). When you try to express yourself (Air), you don’t feel understood. And yet you make yourself believe that your low sex drive (Fire) is the reason you are not attracting the kind of romance you desire in your life. You push against the flow and somehow keep returning to the same sense of disappointment.
The only way to resolve that cycle is to bring each layer into balance. You are a unique person. You have a unique connection to each of these four elements of intimacy. Very often its the one that is most blocked, which carries your greatest power.
That is the journey I take my clients on. A unique four-month journey in which you get to align your intimate life, sense of connection and wholeness. We implement tantric techniques, subconscious exploration, rituals and clear intent. Everything 100% customised to your needs. Every single time I see such an extraordinary transformation. It fills my heart to see people flourish before my eyes. That’s why I do what I do.
Would you like to explore Tantra and Shamanic practices with us, what they both entail and how they differ from one another?
Your Tantric nature consists of a feminine and masculine principle. Your Shamanic nature consists of Earth, Air, Fire and Water. When you combine these you will understand in clarity and accuracy the unique combination that is YOU. You will know which qualities keep you balanced, and how to use them in daily life for a deeper sense of connection.
Nowadays the word Tantra is used mostly in an over-sexualised connotation. Yes, there is an orgasmic aspect of tantra. Yet I do believe that you are missing the point if you don’t allow the non-sexual aspects of your life force energy to be completely embodied.
My job is to allow you to open up in trust. Trust the sexual, pleasurable, as well as the creative and healing potential of your tantric energy. I will guide you in an experiential understanding of what it means to “MAKE LOVE TO LIFE”.
As for Shamanism – there’s a lot I can say here. For now, I’ll just keep it simple. Shamanism has a way of transforming the invisible into a tangible experience. A shaman is considered a bridge. I believe that each of us can be that bridge – for your healing, your connection, to activate your inner guidance. For you.
What I do is assist people in that activation. We do this by literally using the four elements when making a ceremony or ritual. As well as integrating the elements into your personal life on an emotional-spiritual-sexual level.
I used to always get overwhelmed by my sensitivity. I wasn’t able to deal with everything that I was feeling, seeing and hearing. This is how Shamanism came into my life. This is how I learnt to deal with everything that I was sensing, and learn to embody my experience as my power.
I truly see the four elements as well as the sexual life force energy to be the five most powerful energies of this planet. So imagine where it can take you, once you understand these forces within you.
What 3 ways we can connect to our senses and sensuality through your methods of teaching?
Come join me in my group MAKE LOVE TO LIFE. That is the place I give away methods, tips, tricks, techniques and so much more. Every month is connected to an intimate theme. What I share depends on your questions and needs.
I welcome you to get more specific. That’s the only way I can answer properly. Sensuality is such a broad subject, one which we can approach from so many angles. I like getting into the details, the subtleties, the specifics. If you’re intrigued, I would love to see you there!
How are you working on your personal development?
I am consciously celibate at the moment. Many years ago I did it to heal my femininity and establish a new connection to my sexuality. This time it’s different. This time it is to align my deepest hearts desires with my sexual desires.
To consciously choose be celibate is something entirely different than when some time passes without having a lover. The act of consciously choosing will shift everything in the way you experience this time without a partner. You will get tempted and seduced. You will feel the great power of attraction and an explosive libido that seems unbearable at times.
Those experiences are there to test your alignment and see if you are ready to meet your intention. You have to be prepared for the consequences. I know many techniques of how to transmute and expand the tantric life force energy, and yet I have to admit – me too I get frustrated and overwhelmed by all the heat running through my vanes.
So what is my heart’s desire? To go deep with someone. For that, I cannot have the interference of just any lover. I am not manifesting the perfect future partner, nor imagining what will be. I am with me; raising my vibration, making sure pleasure is my priority. I am healthy, abundant and free. All I need to do is trust. Trust in my vibration. The universe will take care of the rest.
What are your preferred marketing methods for the services you offer?
I have a group called MAKE LOVE TO LIFE. In this group, I give free meditations and live masterclasses every month. In this group, I create a safe space for questions and stories around intimacy, sexuality and romance.
My preferred marketing method is organic and real. I love giving information, tricks, techniques etc. I believe that it’s the personal connection that allows my services to be desired and my retreats to be booked. It’s effortless when you are authentic.
What does #BEYOUROWN mean to you?
To have the willingness to find the diamonds hidden in the mud. To see the priceless experiences that made you the unique being you are. My greatest challenges have revealed my greatest powers. Those experiences didn’t make me stronger – they made me softer.
I am at ease, I am open, relaxed, enjoying life, doing what I love. That is when the medicine of BEYOUROWN can be shared. When the resistance stops, the fighting to prove dissolves, and there is merely the loving acceptance of the imperfect perfection you are. Essentially to #BEYOUROWN.
What have you got planned throughout the rest of the year?
My next retreat TANTRIC LIFESTYLE will be in May 2020. This is the space in which the magic of Tantra meets Shamanism is fused into this retreat here in the Sacred Valley of Peru. This is my home, this is where I bring together an intimate group of people on an annual basis for a deeply transformational experience.
Come join me if you are ready for real love, real intimacy, real connection. You are ready for a change that brings more pleasure and ease into your life. A change that encourages you to shamelessly be the unique being you are!
This retreat is for you if you are willing to release all that is holding you back from truly living the greatest potential of your heart. You are curious, open and ready to transcend your limiting beliefs and self-imposed barriers against intimacy.
You are fascinated by ancient traditions and want to understand how to use these in your everyday life. You know the power of your sexual life force energy, and simply want to take it to the next level. You know that the combination of both is exactly what you need to tap into your highest potential.